If you’re anything like me— reward driven, someone who likes toes the fruit of their labor ASAP— then your mind must be in constant “GO” mode. Almost always, you’re quickly planning and searching for the next task to accomplish, neglecting to embrace the journey because you’re so focused on “what’s next”.
At the root of it, it can be the desire to control, the desire to know, the desire to feel secure, and the desire in certainty of having a plan. Even deeper, it can be fear. Fear fear that you’ll be missing out, that you won’t reach your dream, fear that your needs won’t be met, or even fear you’ll be endangered. I know this all too well.
During the last semester of my graduate program, I rehearsed this step-by-step plan in my head:
- I’ll start my internship in January.
- I’ll get some practice under my belt.
- Revise my Resume.
- Mid-May I’ll apply for my top job interest
- I’ll have a job confirmed, possibly even started before I graduate in July.
Now, it’s hilarious to go back and look at this mental plan I had. But while I was following it, I saw no issue with it… I simply thought that I was “doing the right thing”.
Well. “Doing the right thing” seemingly worked until it didn’t— until I was rejected from three job opportunities because of one simple requirement: no licensure. (Gotta love the systems of social work).
If I’m honest, it was hard to accept that rejection. I was upset. I was frustrated. I was grieved. I gave myself a short while to get over it. Then, as I know best, I hustled and bustled looking for every opportunity possible that will be what I would like and meet my standard.
“In their hearts, humans plan their course, but the LORD establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9
Finally, a few weeks passed, and I continued to seek God about jobs and what He is trying to teach me in this period/season. I was reminded of two things:
- His timing is perfect.
- Slow down to embrace the waiting
Outside of being a “Type: A, Planner”, when I look back at the plan that I made starting in January, it was out of the desire to control— out of fear that if I don’t do this or have this plan, then I’m going to be without.
As I have been reflecting on this for the past few days, I was reminded about the story of Jesus and His disciples on a boat during a storm.
“A fierce storm came up. High waves were breaking into the boat, and it began to fill with water. Jesus was sleeping at the back of the boat with his head on a cushion. The disciples woke him up, shouting, ‘Teacher, don’t you care that we’re going to drown?’ When Jesus woke up, he rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Silence! Be still!’ Suddenly the wind stopped, and there was a great calm. Then he asked them, ‘Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?’ Mark 4:35-40
The disciples were fearful because the storm seemed so urgent. They went into full-on survival mode because their situation seemed life threatening. Jesus, being himself— was resting. He was sleeping in the middle of the storm because it wasn’t urgent to him. He knew the power inside of Him and His Father who is the ruler of all things.
The disciples were astounded. They failed to recognize that the one who is in control of all things (even the winds and waves obey Him), was literally on the boat with them.
In a world that makes everything seem so urgent (how quickly do you pick up your phone when your phone dings from a notification), I encourage you to slow down. Slow down in decision making, slow down while completing tasks and going on to the next thing.
Trust God’s timing— he is not bound to our time, but at HIS perfect time, He will come through. How faithful is our Father, who provides what we need JUST when we need it. How gracious He is, to still display His power and control in our lives even when we move out of fear or simply, a lack of faith.
A Prayer for Slowing Down:
Abba, Our Father, the One who is in control of all things— the One who is good and does only good. Thank you that your plans for my life are to prosper me, not to harm me; to give me a hope and a future. Thank you that you are able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that I can ask or think according to the power, your power, that is at work within me. I’m sorry for fighting you— for going against and ahead of you. I’m sorry for falling into the trap of “urgency” for everything in my life that leads me into always searching for the next thing, instead of simply following your steps and trusting your time. I know that your timing is perfect, always. You’re not bound by time— you are so much greater. So, give me faith to be content in slowing down. Give me Faith to be like Jesus, not moved by the urgency or fear of others, but simply trusting in the One who controls all things.. You, my Father. In Jesus name I pray, Amen!
Peace be with you,
Nyke